Coffee Talk

Greetings.. I hope all is well with everyone...I have been tossing, turning and picking my brain to figure out the stupidity of males actions. Well I have News i'm definitely done trying. I could frankly careless. It's that simple. They don't make sense. This past week, not only me but numerous of my homegirls, including my sister have been going through hurtful situations when it comes to males. We have had chats over Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks, Girls Night(which I prepared an on point stir fry;), and of course long discussion on that good telephone. And at the end of the day we came to the conclusion of....umm nothing. It's quite sad how us as females will sit over analyze a situation, flip it, toss it up, throw it in the sky, catch it and try to figure the problem all over again. While the "oh so concerned males" is doing his day to day activities not giving a damn about you or your feelings. Not saying that the situation won't eventually deal with them but they avoid it until they wake up and realize how idiotic they are. One point I realized is the major difference when it comes to males and females and dealing with personal problems. If a female is going through numerous personal problems that is the time they want someone to lean on and want a male companion they can confide in. Males do the opposite. They tend to push everyone away and pretend their superman while they deal with a worsening situation. Okay and we all deal with life situations differently. Fine. My problem comes to play with something call ..A lack of Communication. Once again if a female is having personal issues she tends to be open with her problem and is open to advice. Males do the most disrespectful, spiteful and just plain rude actions to push females away so they don't have to deal with them or the situation. Okay let me give a helpful hint to all my males..open your mouth. We as women would rather hear " You know what, I'm going through alot right now and just need some personal time" rather than avoiding phone calls, acting out of your character, or just being a plain disrespectful. It comes down to maturity. Too bad these actions seem not to have an age limit.

Since I'm on a roll..another point is Intimidation. One of my homegirls def. was in a relationship with a male a couple years older than her. She is constantly making moves and bettering herself. I guess he felt as if he should be making most the moves in the relationship..and told her some sorry line of .."You know what I see how successful you are and you're doing soo much and I don't feel like I'm at the level I need to be in life. Maybe I'm getting babied a little too much from you and I don't know how to handle it." and yep it ended with.."I think we should take a break." Seriously? Every male who feels like this honestly need to find a life better yet create one. Umm two words...Personal Problem. Just because you feel intimidated and are getting upset with your females success that gives you a greenlight to act like you have no sense. Oh wow. We are all trying to better ourselves each day so do not blame your lack of success on me..blame it on your lack of discipline, lack of focus , and the lack of God in your life. Yep work on that.

Personally my situation I was dealing was just foolishness. You know your usual..males not keeping their word, acting extremely nonchalant about his actions and just overnight the person that I got to know over a year's time has completely disappeared and the typical negro has appeared. So on that note I'm turning over a new leaf- no more tears, no more examining the situation, no more girl talks or coffee chats. I frankly don't give a damn. It's that simple. Women have to stop going through the motions of playing the victim and try to justify males actions. Never Settle. I will never settle again. If you have your 10 requirements for a male to meet, stick with them. Do not try to bend rule #3 and because he meet # 7 & 8. If he does not meet every standard..keep it trucking. As soon as you find out he is not up to par...leave. We as women always have high hopes we can change or "better" a male with our influence. Let that go. Growth should be mutual. Not a mother dealing with a child( although that's what it seems like the majority of the time). It really hit me these past weeks when I was hurt, overly emotional and blasse blasse..that males are not taking time and having Boys Night where they try to figure out and depict the female they just hurt. They are off to the next female who they will try to replace you with but the sad thing that they will figure out soon is that ..yep ..sweetie I'm irreplaceable So good luck on that.

You know hat, I'll admit I have not have the most Godly thoughts when it comes on revenge when it comes to a male. I have been playing Bust you Windows by Jazmine Sullivan all week. At first I was hurt and clearly confused and all of a sudden I was irate beyond belief. I always tend to make it to church on Sundays but this particular Sunday I was 15minutes early.I def. needed God to work on my heart. And I left feeling renewed. It hit me while I was leaving what my father told me. God will continue to harden that hearts of others to push you away on purpose. It's God telling you that person does not need to be in your life. We always try to make people fit and allow people in our life past their expiration date. The more you try to push it God will continue to try to harden the persons heart more and more. Soo wit that in mind, I was completely content. He's just not for me. It's that simple. No more aggression, anger, or revenge. Time to refocus and put all the energy back into my life. You will reap what you sow. soo keep on...I digress.... God Bless;)