Am I afraid of Myself?

The other day an old friend said I sounded like a workaholic. They weren't saying it as a negative comment but nonetheless they called me one. That's not the first time that I've heard the word "workaholic" while describing me.

I sat back and thought about it and I had to agree. I did not debate people when they say this statement, i just wanted to know why?

I've always told myself that I push myself so hard because I want to reach every goal that God has set in my heart. Which is very true! That's why even when I'm dead tired I will still find a way to push myself to a new level. I can't stand the feeling of not being productive. It's just time wasting when I could be actually making a change in my life or others. I know, I know I need to learn how to rest and take care of myself properly too.

But that's one reason of me being productive but the other reason is avoiding life's problems. I realized that as soon as I unwind and I'm not focus on completing a task I get bombarded with emotions, stress, and pain that I thought I tucked away. Yes they were tucked away but only temporarily until the next time I get idle time! Yes, I am believer that "idle time is the devil's workshop" and it can bring up unwated ideas. The more I was thinking about it, the more concerned I begin to feel. In one aspect it just seems like I run away or avoid unwanted emotions in life instead of dealing with them. How do you honestly deal with issues??

Does time really heals all wounds?? Another question asked myself. I have had emotions that I had erased over a year ago and they all began to pop up again when I saw the person or situation. I was always taught to keep going in life. Life happens but you can't stop living. What I'm soon finding out is that even though you might continue to live through life ,does it mean that you really deal with problems are just bypass them?

Epiphany of the Week: I purposely don't have downtime so I can keep my mind constantly busy and not have the past or things I buried won't arise again.

I feel like God is nudging saying that I can't continue like this because, its all will catch up with me one day.

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

**Music Taste**

Goapele – Milk & Honey – NEW video


Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

**Style Shot**

This pic was taken on the streets of Soho. I had to do a pick up last Friday and was caught by a photograoher named Kevin Tavarez. I was chatting on the phone with my sister and asked to take my pic. I felt touched that he would even want a pic of me!

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless!

**Lunch Break**

Random Thoughts of life as a Sevnteen intern.....

Since I began my internship it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. When I began intimidation was the biggest emotion I felt. I was worried I would end up screwing everything up! The funny thing about it is when I finally did make a mistake thats when I start being comfortable. I realized that I had to learn how to deal with peoples dominating attitudes, juggling 10 different tasks all while keeping a smile on my face. From packing for photoshoots to getting lunch for my editor it has been interesting to say the least. I pray all through the day and want to come home and do my own individual yoga class.! If I said it was easy it would be a complete lie.

Fortunately, when you're following your dream there is nothing or no one who can stop you. Once I came to the realization that peoples remarks nor attitude determine my destiny made things easier. Everyday before I walk in the office I get centered and remember that God has control over my life and I am at this point in my life for reason. It's a reminder that I'm unbreakable with His strength.

The experience is exciting so far !. The other day I walked pass Nina Garcia, like it was nothing:o Helping for photoshoots, doing pick ups, and just helping out in general gives me a great understanding of how everything comes together.

I can't wait until I get to do more, especially during Fashion Week!

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless!