Am I afraid of Myself?

The other day an old friend said I sounded like a workaholic. They weren't saying it as a negative comment but nonetheless they called me one. That's not the first time that I've heard the word "workaholic" while describing me.

I sat back and thought about it and I had to agree. I did not debate people when they say this statement, i just wanted to know why?

I've always told myself that I push myself so hard because I want to reach every goal that God has set in my heart. Which is very true! That's why even when I'm dead tired I will still find a way to push myself to a new level. I can't stand the feeling of not being productive. It's just time wasting when I could be actually making a change in my life or others. I know, I know I need to learn how to rest and take care of myself properly too.

But that's one reason of me being productive but the other reason is avoiding life's problems. I realized that as soon as I unwind and I'm not focus on completing a task I get bombarded with emotions, stress, and pain that I thought I tucked away. Yes they were tucked away but only temporarily until the next time I get idle time! Yes, I am believer that "idle time is the devil's workshop" and it can bring up unwated ideas. The more I was thinking about it, the more concerned I begin to feel. In one aspect it just seems like I run away or avoid unwanted emotions in life instead of dealing with them. How do you honestly deal with issues??

Does time really heals all wounds?? Another question asked myself. I have had emotions that I had erased over a year ago and they all began to pop up again when I saw the person or situation. I was always taught to keep going in life. Life happens but you can't stop living. What I'm soon finding out is that even though you might continue to live through life ,does it mean that you really deal with problems are just bypass them?

Epiphany of the Week: I purposely don't have downtime so I can keep my mind constantly busy and not have the past or things I buried won't arise again.

I feel like God is nudging saying that I can't continue like this because, its all will catch up with me one day.

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless