"It's Black..It's White"

Photography by Allison Bowers---->www.freshaddict.blogspot.com

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

**Summer Daze**

Of course my best, Miss Allison Bowers from www.freshaddict.blogspot.com took these pics!! We had such a nice summery day. As you can see I wanted to relive my childhood:)

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

**A Shot of Inspiration**

"You're someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that, in my view, is a serious illness."

-Paulo Coelho

Am I afraid of Myself?

The other day an old friend said I sounded like a workaholic. They weren't saying it as a negative comment but nonetheless they called me one. That's not the first time that I've heard the word "workaholic" while describing me.

I sat back and thought about it and I had to agree. I did not debate people when they say this statement, i just wanted to know why?

I've always told myself that I push myself so hard because I want to reach every goal that God has set in my heart. Which is very true! That's why even when I'm dead tired I will still find a way to push myself to a new level. I can't stand the feeling of not being productive. It's just time wasting when I could be actually making a change in my life or others. I know, I know I need to learn how to rest and take care of myself properly too.

But that's one reason of me being productive but the other reason is avoiding life's problems. I realized that as soon as I unwind and I'm not focus on completing a task I get bombarded with emotions, stress, and pain that I thought I tucked away. Yes they were tucked away but only temporarily until the next time I get idle time! Yes, I am believer that "idle time is the devil's workshop" and it can bring up unwated ideas. The more I was thinking about it, the more concerned I begin to feel. In one aspect it just seems like I run away or avoid unwanted emotions in life instead of dealing with them. How do you honestly deal with issues??

Does time really heals all wounds?? Another question asked myself. I have had emotions that I had erased over a year ago and they all began to pop up again when I saw the person or situation. I was always taught to keep going in life. Life happens but you can't stop living. What I'm soon finding out is that even though you might continue to live through life ,does it mean that you really deal with problems are just bypass them?

Epiphany of the Week: I purposely don't have downtime so I can keep my mind constantly busy and not have the past or things I buried won't arise again.

I feel like God is nudging saying that I can't continue like this because, its all will catch up with me one day.

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

"Put in Perspective"

"Proposal, Fax,Registration, Internship, Security Deposit, Rent, Apartment, Classes, Loans...." The list can go on. This is what I have been dealing with this past week. Lord knows I had a slight breakdown when I found out all these problems in less than an hour on a drab Monday.

Thankfully everything has pretty much pulled together on this chilly Friday.

Even though I feel as if my life is falling apart every other week, I can't complain. I always know that everything will fall in place eventually.

In the midst of the drama it seems as if and hour equal a day. A minute equals an hour, A second equals a minute. The problem seems drawn out for no reason until you look back and realize your breakdown was less than a week. The feeling I feel e when I look back is triumph! I know the more trials I go through the stronger individual I will become.

Complications just makes you that much more untouchable. It puts everything in perspective. Little situations that were "important" before soon become irrelevant and no longer a priority.

Now that I've weed out irrelevant issues in life, now comes the hard part. What do you do when every priority is a level 3 priority and higher?? Two words that were sent by my best Allison, ......."Grind Harder!" That's it. When you turn around and see that you cannot afford to slack in any area, you just have to exert more energy and faith to keep everything a float.

You feel on the top of the world when you climb the mountain that seemed humongous. Its funny because when you look back it was just a mere hill.

Prayer & Faith ......build upon it each day and you will begin to see the difference of how you respond to life surprises!

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless!

"I have to Carry On..."

Greetings,

"I'm Crying everyone's Tears...Just another day nothing is any good,I have so much to do I have to carry on......Maybe I should just walk away, will I disappoint my future if I stay?"- King of Sorrow Sade

Today is one of those days that hurts. I woke up this morning and had a gut feeling things were not going to fall in place today. I have no words.....just emotions.

Tomorrow will be a brighter day...

Miracles & Blessings

God Bless

"On The Ocean"

"Out here on the ocean, I know my ship has come in ....." Okay so maybe not an ocean ...more so Lake Michigan. Since this weekend was unnaturally beautiful in Chicago I had to take advantage of this weather. After work me and my gal pals, made a pit stop at Buffalo Wild Wings, ordered the food to go and headed to the beach that evening.

There is honestly nothing better in life than the comfort of a summer night. It puts you at instant peace. It doesn't matter if your world is crumbling around you, summer nights allow you to sneak moments of bliss. Being able to look out at waves splashing is both relaxing and magical. I'ts somewhat undescribable of how your thoughts begin to loosen up when you look at one of God's Creations that is so much bigger than you are.

I have reach a point in my life where life is not as clear and cookie cut as I pictured it. I realized that you sometime have no control of how certain situations play out in life. All you have the power to do is react in the best way. I realized its really okay. It is okay not to be able to have control over what happens in your life. Embrace it. Trials are just God's way of nudging saying I'm still thinking of you and He wants you to grow. Think about it, If you're not growing, what are you doing?

And most importanat .....Laugh;) Laughter is the best medicine in any situation. I find myself getting so stressed out when something doesn't fall in place exactly how I pictured it. It gets to a point where you literally just have to laugh out loud. There are too many days whee the Most inconvenient and random situations happen in life...and I say out loud..."Only Me, only this randomness happens to me"...But Life Goes On....And you Learn:)

"God grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the Wisdom to know the difference"

Miracles & Blessings

God Blesss

Poetry Pause

Greetings beautiful People... I apologize my posts had taken a slight pause. I am still alive and doing well! It was my school's break so I pretty much attempted to take a break from everything;). Once I can get my thoughts together I will allow my thoughts to take you on a journey but until then allow Dana's Gilmore take you on one....


"Wife..Woman..Friend"






"Never Put Your Heart in Your Mind Position"

Love It... More Posts coming soon..God Bless

*Defend Your Dream*

Greetings Beautiful People..I hope everyone is doing well. I received an interesting voicemail this morning when I checked my phone. All I heard was an off key version of "I Just Called to Say I Love You" playing on my voicemail. As I was leaving work I couldn't help but have a huge smile on my face as I realized the message came from my mother singing off key on my phone. Now if you know my mother you know that she is strict, stern and sometimes high strung so this was surprising. This message meant alot for me since me and my mother didn't always have the best relationship. It's one of the situations that the mother and daughter are identical so we are always clashing. It's a blessing that our relationship has skyrocketed since I decided to pursue my dream .

It has almost been close to the year when I decided to stop pursuing my education at Alabama A&M university studying Education and decided to attend The Institute of Art- Chicago to study FAshion Marketing/Management. When I first made this transition the different responses were quite overwhelming. Lifelong friends who have seen me grow up since childhood were more than supportive. They understood exactly what my dream was and was not surprised that I decided to pursue this career. So I Thank you all who did:)Even though my parents were(especially my mother) were a tad bit concerned of the stability in the dream they were pleased I followed my heart instead of others opinions. They both said they saw me in the Fashion Industry before me teaching in a classroom. The reason why I chose to study Education was that it was a standard career that was stable and you could touch children's lives. But at the end of the day how was I going to teach children to follow my dreams when I had denied mine.

On the other hand, just as much support as I received...there was just as much as negative feedback. People who did not understand the creative, carefree ,passionate Ellisa felt that my decision was selfish, shallow and didn't make sense. It just made more sense for them to see a young black woman in front of a class than breaking down doors in the Fashion Industry. People often wanted to assume that everyone in the Industry is shallow and label groupies who are not concerned with anything but what they put on. In my case this is foolishly untrue. People saw one side of me and wanted to set me in a box to fix their criteria. I often heard that I had more to offer to the world and I should've just stayed in Education . It's funny because no matter what field or industry I am my goal on a day to day is not only to improve myself but others who surround me. My focus in the Fashion Industry is geared towards the appreciation of Black Beauty. Growing up a brown skin kinky hair girl, my high school years were not the best. I would flip open a magazine or turn the TV on and not see anyone who resembled anything like me. It was not until my last year in high school is when I was greeted by different blogs or Internet magazines that showcased a variety of Black Beauty geared towards a younger generation in women. of color. Black women need to see the natural beauty that lies within themselves. If we knew how much power that God has placed in us and How He created us gorgeous creatures we would begin to have much more self respect. Self respect and confidence can alter which road of destiny that you decide to go down, I know if I was bombarded by images in magazines that looked like me or went to the magazine rack and saw positive images of black women (not half naked pictures of video girls) it wouldn't have taken me up to my 20 years for me to become comfortable in my own skin.

I say all this to say ....Defend Your Dream! Dreams should be debatable. If everyone agreed with your dream than you would not see growth in yourself and you would never know if this is what you really want in life. Not only did I know that I made the right choice because I allowed God to direct me but also the fact that I pushed passed peoples;s negativity. People don't even realize how slight comments as "oh you would've been better in a more serious field" Or "I would have loved to see you if you were studying something else" are example of negative comments. That is equivalent to saying "You would be more attractive if you were lighter or taller" in both situations you can't change. I stepped on this road of destiny for a reason. I encourage all to throw everyones expectation of you out the door! Begin to set your own expectations that are lined up with Christ and the personal growth that YOU want to see will begin.

I was talking to my older sister and she told me this morning that no one can take away your gifts and dreams but they can make you drive yourself crazy by them questioning it. There is no point of even entertaining others opinions if it leaks negativity or tries to pull you back to your past and not allow you to step in your future. Protect your Dream. Until you and God have a clear understanding keep it to yourself. If not, a dream that is told to soon is extremely fragile and is in the state of breakage by negative comments. Once you allowed a dream to develop in you and turn to a goal, I still don't advise you broadcast it. Just Do It! Once people see you start taking step, comments are automatically going to start trickling in. Thats when you ask God for discernment to filter out what you need to take in and what you need to just roll off your back. When I was attending my old university many people were both shocked and confused as my decision to follow my dream. I only allowed them to see one side of me because my dream was still in a fragile state. Once I started making giant steps towards developing my goal, no one believed or understood my decision. I realized they are not suppose to.

God put gift in you for a reason. It is hard for people to understand when others pursue their goals if they are not pursuing their own. Once again protect your dream. let it develop before you share it. Love yourself. love Life. and don't let toxic people in your life.,,

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Luke 12:34

God Bless!!

R.I.P Bernie Mac

Greetings...This morning around 10 a.m. I was awaken by a startling text that comedian Bernie Mac passed. This information completly shocked and hurt that one of our African AMerican men great talents had passed. Bernie mac was one of my favorite comedians as I've grown throughout my teenage years..

"Comedian and Chicago native Bernie Mac died early Saturday morning from complications due to pneumonia, his publicist confirmed.Mac, 50, had been hospitalized for about a week at Northwestern Hospital, according to his spokeswoman.

A few years ago, Mac disclosed that he suffered from sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in tissue, most often in the lungs.The comic born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough could cut an imposing figure. He stood 6-foot-3, was built like a fullback and carried himself with a bouncer's reticence. But perhaps the strongest weapon in the Chicago comedian's arsenal was that voice, that amalgam of thought and a delivery that could rise like a tidal wave, outpace a Gatling gun and remained, to his last days, loud and unapologetic."- Chicago Tribune

Bernie Mac has not only blessed the world with his comedic relief but also with his full belief of community service. He was faithful in giving back to the inner cities of Chicago, IL where he was born.

You will be truly missed but your spirit still lives on... God Bless..

The Power Of SelF DisCipline:0

Good Evening Blessed Ones... Im now sitting in my family room at surrounded by my loved ones who are actively participating with the TV Gameshow Password as if Regis Philbin is going to pop out the TV and say Correct!! This usually would work every other nerve but this trip home is different. After ending my second quarter in Chicago its comforting to be surrounded by people who don't want anything from you except your presence. One vital part of my life that I realized I missed and needed the most was my father/daughter encouragement talks.



One quality you should understand about my father is he is extremely hardworking, discipline and does not allow any outside sources to affect his spirit in any way. He has an extremely quiet spirit and allows his actions speak for him. Clearly I received the majority of my traits from my mother- high strung, stress all the time, allow insignificant issues affect my mentality and the list can go on. But one trait that I always admired the most that I have learned first hand in the past months is ...Self Discipline. So after our family left Sunday Service today me and my father had one of our good ol' fashion life advice talks while eating over our Sunday dinner which he makes every week(ooh how I wish I inherited his cooking abilities:0).

I have always been curious how my father stays so focused and content through life storms. He informed me that all it took was the power of self discipline. My entire family has overcome numerous obstacles but it has been my father's struggles that has stood out the most. My father who is originally from Nigeria has been through extreme tribulations just from the ignorance of this country supposedly named "The Land Of the Free" A boldfaced lie. Clearly if you do not sound/look like an European American people want to place you in the box of being mildly retarded and uneducated. Which is clearly not the case with my father who was college educated across seas in London. I remember as a child growing up both me and my older sister would get extremely irate ( to be honest I can;t even express in words of my anger) when White America would disrespect him just because of his accent and his orgin. Yes we were both guilty of childhood fights with ignorant kids who felt the need to make comments. Throughout all these incidents my father was the most calm. He would always tell us do not worry about others they can only control your fate if you allow them. He would encourage us and tell us give it to God and focus on disciplining yourself so you don't prove your enemies right. As a young girl I watched him become a livng example of his advice towards me. He did not allow anyone to stop him from surpassing his goal and put his energy running his own succesful business. Even his family doubted his success and has continued to prove everyone wrong time after time.



I never understood how he continued to rise bove it all time after time . But with his wisdom today I truly understood the power of Self Discipline. From eating habits to what type of media you allow to infiltrate your mind to ignoring outside sources to pull you away from you goal it all goes back to self discipline. It is amazing where self discipline canplace you on higher levels of life. If you focus on yourself and give yourself of restrictions it ultimately builds your mentality up to be unstoppable. It is vital to have discpiline in actions -

• Setting a time of meditation each day to build up your relationship with the Lord. This is an IMPORTANT step people skip. People lack to realize it doesn't matter if you have a long list of goals and dreams you still won't achieve them if they're not aligned up with God's plan for you. Make sure you stay focus on the Lord and he will reveal where he wants you. Trust Him when He leads you he know the desires of your heat and he will surpass your own individual goals.


• Making sure you just don't set your goals but have a detailed plan to achieve each one. I live by lists. I full believer of setting goals and accomplishments daily,weekly, monthly,yearly..etc. Once you start to see your daily accomplishments conquered it will give you more confidence to continue to reach you bigger dreams.


• Remember your body is a Temple and should be treated as such. Make sure it is in the top shape it can be. Set aside times a couple days out of the week to discipline your body.Watch what you intake in your body (my weak point). Keep discipline in your diet. Even if you're not a vegetarian, intake fresh and natural foods


• DISCIPLINE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!! Let me state that again..DISCIPLINE YOUR THOUGHTS!!! this the most vital!!!!!!!! your thoughts will automatically control your destiny. Whatever you think about yourself thats what you will become. If all you do is think about your past that is will you will eventually end up. If your focus in life is negative or indecisive that is will you will end up still lost and confused. your thoughts are powerful. If anythi take away the point of DISCIPLINING YOUR THOUGHTS. This is the main reason why people get caught in between there dream because there thoughts are not focused in the right direction.

I hope someone gains some insight and Hope from this specific posts..Stay Focus. Don't Give Up. It;s surprising once self discpline is a part of your daily activities you will begin to be fully content in life no matter what situation God has placed you in. I'll leave you with his famous quote by Frank Outlaw..

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

....God Bless!

Do you want to be One?

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Good Evening Beautiful Ones, I know in my last post I stated my next posts were not going to be music related but I truly had a need to address this controversial single from Nas. I have to state I respect the fact that Nas holds so much knowledge and is not selfish when it comes to sharing uplifting information to raise up his people. Nas continues to hit in depth topics with each album that is released even if the delivery is graceful or rash.


I have to admit when the world spotted Nas with his flawless and creative spouse, Kelis sporting the word "NiggeR" as a walking Billboard on the Grammy Red carpet, I was a tad bit distraught. I was actually irate with the fact that he was throwing around this word with so much hatred, anger and pain as if it was an appropriate greeting that could be found on a welcome doormat. The first time I turned the song on I could not listen to it all the way through because my blood pressure was rising with every nonchalant "nigger" that was being thrown around in the lyrical delivery of Mr. Nassir Jones. I was utterly turned off and somewhat disgusted.


In the back of my mind I honestly knew that Nas has too much knowledge and I knew there was a hidden message past the upfront ignorance use of the word. I finally had a chance to catch the full version of this video and honestly it made the message fall in place for me. The video for me pretty much broke down the message on how I perceive the song. I have honestly been playing this song on repeat just so I can pull out every creative bit from this song. In fact I'm listening to it right now as I type.


In my 19 years of living I have been blessed to have been introduced to numerous cultures and offered knowledge at such a young age. One of the blessings I have received from my Heavenly Father was the talent to observe/study others and being able to piece together their behavior. Everyone actions has been triggered by an event or an environment that surrounded them. Since elementary to High School I was introduced to ignorance being in an predominately white area and an equal ignorance when I enrolled in A HBCU. I know reside in a mixed environment where it seems as the same ignorance lives. In each one of these environments it was vital to create the person I am now. When living and growing up in a predominately white area I was smacked in the face with the ignorance of people still being afraid of difference and disregarded anything that they did not see on a day to day basis. This was good for me because you saw racism slapped in your face on a regular. There was no hiding. It was in your face hate for other cultures and anyone with an unique mentality.


When I decided to attend an HBCU about 2 years ago I was ecstatic to be engulfed in the rich culture of my people. There was not a doubt in my mind that I was going to be introduced by black power fists and natural coils. To my surprise it was the complete opposite and mostly assimilation was taking place on the campus.


In both environments I found myself being around people suffering from identity crisis. In the environment I see that people see it is a hot trend now to indulge themselves in the Black Culture. What Nas portrays wuth his lyrics and his video that even though many people want to be part of our culture there is still much pain and history behind the word. Its funny because both black and whites are never satisfied with there culture and are always trying emulate the other. Blacks are trying to get away from the word and culture by weaving it up, plastering themselves with old white designers who probably wouldn't want them to wear there items no way and losing sight of there past. You have whites who think its appealing to blast the newest Wayne (in which they think that represents hip hop), misspelling words on purpose, and saying every other word in our culture eagerly waiting until society allows them to say the word "nigger."



So I wrote all this to say do not write off Nas just yet. Even though with each chorus you may cringe, You need to listen to this thought provoking song. And realize that the disease of identity crisis; is running rapid. In no way I feel as if he was glorifying the word but showing the world that if you want to be a "nigger" here is what you must endure- The Pain of The Past, The Prejudice of Present and the Frustration of the Future...Think about It..God Bless.

Unclutter lifestyle = Peace of Mind

Greetings loved ones...I just awoke from 12 hour nights of rest which my body completly shut down. I just laid in bed contemplating on life in grneral and came to distracting realization that I'm completely uncentered. Mentally, physically, emotionally and most vital Spiritually. I have let situations and my enviroment take a toll on my complete lifestyle. Last night i felt horrible, I collapsed on my bed after barely getting my laundry done and woke up in the middle of the night prespiring with a fever and sore throat. This morning after I rolled out of bed and crept in the kitchen to warm up my peach greentea and some oatmeal that I had to forced down I realized my entire center had been thrown off.

Mentally I have been fighting my enviroment to stay focused and firm in my morals. I have been figthing to stay true to myself and not allow peer pressure to take over my being. It is a constant battle to not get pulled into the fake reality that many people feel the need to chase in this world. I am me no matter the enviroment.

Physically. Due to the lack of organization in my life my body is receiving its punishement. Hardly any rest for the past couple weeks, my eating habits have been basically disgusting. I either overeat anything thats in hands reach or forget to eat entirely. My body has been screaming out for water to fight the state of dehydration that I often feel. You are what you eat. All I have been scarfing down my throat is processed, fried and overly sugared sweets. Thats exactly how my body feels after the foods I intake. My yoga/running schedule has completly come to a hault and substitued with quick naps or late night studying.

Emotionally. I have never experienced every emotion at such a constant rush in my life. I did not know how to deal with it. I usually can take the time and overanalyze each every emotion and set it aside in the place of where avoidance could take care of it. But this time my rules did not apply. Avoidance has only built up more emotional confusion. I struggle with the feeling of dealin gwith unwanted, unintended, and unexpected emotions.

Spiritually. This is the most vital of me being unbalanced. I attended church yesterday and the pastor preached on uncluttering your lifestyle. He hit from your sacred living space to unwanted thoughts that try to persecute you on a day to day basis. It was that point on which I had a " Aha Moment" That was the key leaving stress,lonliness, unhealthiness and every other negative trap the devil sets for God's children...My meditation has gone from twice a day to a quick 2 min. period before I rush out of the door.
So this morning I have taken time to achievce my balance and gain back my outlook.
find mor info at ...http://www.bodylove.name/healing.htm

"Meditate, meditate, meditate – you will not move beyond the physical without regular contemplation/introspection time. All of the great ones who came before us and who are here with us now moved to higher levels of vibration with meditation. Quieting the conscious mind in order to delve into the subconscious is like floating through a hoop (portal) into another existence. It is here that visions and messages of all kinds are received. New worlds and dimensions can be explored. True healing can take place. Creativity and self knowledge is stimulated. There are many methods of meditation. Seek out books, teachers, videos, tapes, etc. to learn meditation techniques. Body Love has a number of books on the subject, and you are welcome to come here, have a cup of tea and read.

Through meditation, we listen to our Source. It is with prayer we talk to our Source. In preparation for prayer time, smudge your prayer room with white sage/copal/frankincense & myrrh or your favorite sacred substance, light a candle, pour libations in recognition of those ancestors who came before us. Then, talk to your Source. Pray for others, ask for forgiveness, etc.; then let your faith make manifest.

Eat foods with high vibrations. The highest are foods that are still alive; fresh raw fruits and vegetables. Living foods contain nutrients and enzymes that can not be reproduced in a laboratory. Once you apply heat, you change the molecular structure of your food and destroy its life sustaining substance. Flesh, processed, and chemical non-foods carry a low vibration and are not fit for your sacred self.

Commune with water multiple times throughout the day. First, know that water absorbs energy. Read “The Hidden Messages in Water” by Masaru Emoto. He has scientifically proven that our thoughts can change water molecules. And, guess what? We are water! Yes, your body is 90% water, according to the latest research (Emoto). This means that you absorb the energy of your environment; including thought energy. Do you constantly spew negative thoughts in your mind or while talking to others? If so, you are making your self toxic. Next, know that you must replenish your body’s water throughout the day. Dehydration is the number one cause of dis-ease on the Earth! Drink water, drink water, drink water. Then take a bath – not a shower – a bath. Add a generous amount of dead sea salts (1-4 pounds), relax and meditate. Did you know that the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus in a mother's womb is almost identical to the composition of water from the sea? Ponder on that! Body Love carries a selection of sea salts for your bathing experience.

We don’t often acknowledge the sacredness of our sound waves. Our ancient ones produced sacred sounds or music. Surround your self with beautiful sacred music mixed with sacred words. Televisions and radios use crystals to transmit sound energy. In other words, crystals are tools of communication. They absorb and transmit energies including sound. Carry with you or wear crystals that reveal the path of your core. Body Love has a number of books in the library that will teach you about the use of crystals.

Wear clothing and jewelry that has meaning; that enhances certain traits of your being. It is a way of connecting to other beings who become inspired by your creativity, diversity and unique energy. Clothing should be comfortable; not restricting. Tight blue jeans (dungarees) are responsible for dis-eases of both the womb and prostate. Note: Historically, blue jeans were called dungarees, because they were worn when cowboys worked with and came in contact with cow and horse excrement. These days, the fashion industry has persuaded many of us to think of dungarees as a fashion statement.

Connect to Mother Earth as often as you can. Walk barefoot in grass, sand, earth. Take deep breaths of outside air – let fresh air into your sacred living space, regularly. Spend time in the sunlight, as much as possible. The more advanced this society becomes, the sicker we get. We must begin to re-evaluate the ways of our ancestors. "


God Bless....

WhY Life WhY?

Yep I should be studying 4 midterms but yeah Im blogging..Hmm Im getting my priorities together..EEk! Im just taking a break right now. Seriously today was my monthly breakdown..yes tears came strolling down my eyes. Sometimes I feel as if the world is against me and I have to prove to everyone my full potential even to myself. Sometimes I just wish I could disappear just for a couple of hours and then regroup and attack life again...Soo I came across one my notebooks that I was scribbling down in a while back when my spirit was feeling both low and curious when I was in the library daydreaming.Yeah extremely random thoughts...so i just asked myself a couple of questions...so dig into it....

Why is it as soon as you stay in God's Will it triggers the devil to attack you?

Why is life set up as fight or flight?

Why do I want to be in love but not go through the process?

Why do I love culture,especially mine soo much?

Why did Talib spit that line to me at the concert?

Did He really spit that line to me or was I trippin?

Why do some songs bring back bad memories?

Why does my past feel tainted?

Why don't people understand personal space?

Why does reggae music instantly puts you in the mindset of a hot sweaty club, grinding with your "mystery man"?

Why do you try to make every man your mystery man?

Why not leave some males as a mystery in your mind? isn't it more fun that way and you don't risk disappointment?

Hmm is keeping a male a mystery just excuse to run away from love?

Why do soulful souls seem at peace at all times?

Why did I just use the word "seem"?

Why did Jill Scott choose Crown Royal to use as a comparison to love making?

Why do I love being by myself?

Why do I feel as if Im my own best company?

Why am I crazy compared to the world's standards?

Why does joy come from sorrow?

Why do I let my soul lead me?

Why do I purposely object to rules society sets just so I can create my own mold?

Why don't people go with there gut? If the Spirit is manifested in us, is or "gut" really our spirit trying to lead us ?

Why do I want to turn around?

Why is there no such thing as second best?

Why are people so easily influenced?

Why don't people want pity but rather have the person feel their pain?

Why do I glance at people I know that are standing right there anyway?

Why are my dreams so close but yet so faraway?

Why am I walking around in my dream at this very moment?

Why when I hit repeat on my i-pod I feel bad because I messed up the flow of the tracks?

Why was it so stressful to get to this point?

Why are eccentric people so happy in their own world?

Why do white people tan?

Why do black females rock weave so hard but get mad when people question if it there's?

Why do you have to assimilate before you know what you need change?

Why do I feel like I'm on my own reality show?

Why when everything is going well I focus more but when trials come I actually perform better even though it seems I'm not as focus?

Why was that confusing?

Why am I officially on my grind?

Why do I feel naps are the answer to all my problems?

Why when you stop caring thats when everything falls in place?

Why am I listening to woman's worth like I can actually can appreciate a males worth?

Why did I just catch the eyes of this cute guy?

Why am I now wondering if he's gay?

Why do I duck from males like they're the plague?

Why does time go by so fast sometimes and other times ridiculously slow?

Why am I so disgusted so easily?

Why is life one big movie?

Why am Im so blessed?

Why did I self diagnose myself with anxiety?

God Bless...